Remembering Memories We've Made and Making New Ones

I'm so grateful for three of my very best friends: Rachel, Eranda, and Christina. I love these girls so much! They have seen the good and the bad (and sometimes the very bad) of me and they still like me - amazing, really! We met in 1998 in college in Maryland. Rachel, Eranda, and I were all just starting as freshman, and Christina had the . . . um, . . . privilege to be my RA. (And I have repeatedly apologized for everything I put her through!) We hit it off, and in spite of us all living in three different states (soon to be four) and through all the other changes that have happened through college, grown-up life, marriages, babies, and everything else, we have managed to stay close. One of the great things about us is that it doesn't matter if it is two of us, three of us, or all four of us together, we get along great individually and all together. We try to make sure that we get in at least one visit every year, although the more we fit in the happier we are! Every now and then, I like to spend some time going through the pictures we've collected over the years and relive some of the good times we've had. Of course, it is even better to make new memories together, and that is just what we're about to do! We're leaving today to get together for a week at the beach (with our families tagging along). What could be better than that?! Not much!

Baby Steps

With a hop

and a skip

we have moved two steps up!

Two steps closer to getting our referral. Two steps closer to traveling to meet our little boy. Two steps closer to bringing him home. Two steps closer. They are baby steps, but I'll take them!

Not Quite

They might not wrestle, they might not play rough, they might not try to figure out how everything works, they might not be obsessed with a ball or a car, they might not enjoy yelling for the pure joy of making a loud noise, BUT . . .

Here's proof that my girls are not quite 100% girlie girls.

 Obviously, they do like to play in the mud.

A Milestone

Yesterday marked a spiritual milestone for me. Twenty-five years ago, on March 24th, I made the most important decision in my life - I accepted Jesus as my personal Lord and Savior. Even though it was a long time ago and I was very young, I remember everything about that moment as clearly as if it had just happened. Growing up as a pastor's daughter, I was practically raised in church and knew all the right answers. On that day, however, it all came together. I realized that I had to make a personal decision for myself to ask Jesus to forgive me of my sins and to take charge of my life.

I thank my parents for the role that they played in my spiritual life. Their end goal was not that I become a Christian - that was just the starting point. They modeled, discipled, and encouraged  me to make my faith in Jesus a part of my daily life and a deciding factor for every decision I make - whether big or small. I also thank Andy for being such a spiritual encourager in my life. He prays for me daily and promotes my growth in my walk with Christ. Also, even though they don't realize it, Emma Lee and Kerri greatly impact my spiritual growth. Nothing makes me want to model Christ more than the knowledge that they are constantly watching and learning from me.

Although twenty-five years as a believer should bring great joy and excitement to me (and it does), I have to admit that my strongest reactions are ones of sadness and disappointment . . . in myself. Twenty-five. Twenty-five years of being a Christian. Does my location on the map of my journey with Christ match how far I should be after twenty-five years? I feel like after that long I should be so much ahead of where I actually am. These feelings and a talk with Andy led to my searching the Scriptures to develop a plan for this next year. What spiritual changes do I want to see in my life this year? I don't want to look back in the next year or decade or after another twenty-five years and be in the same place that I am right now.

My number one goal is to become a stronger "ambassador for Christ" (2 Cor. 5:20). Whoever I come in contact with should know (because I make it clear through my words and not just my actions) that I represent Christ. 2 Cor. 5:16 says, "Therefore from now on we recognize no one according to the flesh." I must not evaluate people as people but as souls destined for either heaven or hell. I can't meet someone, have a nice conversation with them, and walk away thinking what a nice person they are. I must look past their "flesh" to find out if they know their eternal destination. 

Witnessing is probably my weakest point in my Christian walk. I have met many people who irritate me because it seems like all they do is talk "Christianese," and sometimes it comes off as more of a show than being based in sincerity. Many times in the past, I have used this as an excuse for myself because I wanted to avoid becoming someone like that. I have often relied on the thought, "Well, my actions can show people that I'm a Christian, I don't have to come right out and talk about it." However, if I really believe that I know the only way to be saved and many of the people I come in contact (however briefly) do not have this knowledge, shouldn't I share it with them and not leave it up to their wild guesses or imaginations? I know that there is a balance between these two extremes, and I don't think that with my nature and personality I have to worry about going overboard - it has merely been an excuse. It is my prayer that for the rest of my life God will use me to help lead others to Him.




  

What's a Mommy to Do?

Kerri has so many cute little faces and expressions, and each one is almost impossible to say no to! (The times I do manage to resist her charm, I'm usually having to fight to hold in my laughter.) I have a feeling it is only going to get worse the older she gets!

Why Adopt?

 I recently read through a sermon from John Piper about adoption. It pretty much sums up why we made our decision to grow our family through adoption. The following is a summary (along with a few thoughts of my own) of the parts of his sermon that really apply to the decisions that we have made. You can find the entire sermon here.

Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us in Christ with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly places, even as he chose us in him before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and blameless before him. In love he predestined us for adoption through Jesus Christ, according to the purpose of his will, to the praise of his glorious grace, with which he has blessed us in the Beloved. - Eph 1:3-6

Adoption is part of God's plan and for His glory (Eph 1:5-6). God's rescuing us from our sin was not an afterthought. In the same way, adoption has always been a part of our (God's) plan for our family. We are not adopting because we can't have our own biological children (obviously); instead, we feel that it is something that God has called our family to do. This isn't because we are great and extraordinary people. Andy and I are not adopting because we are wonderful or because we are seeking the praise and approval of others. We are adopting for God's glory; just as our adoption into God's family is for God's glory.

Adoption is through Jesus Christ. "We were not cute little orphans that God was attracted to; we were enemies in rebellion against God" (Rom. 5:6; 5:10). Our adoption into God's family is not based on our being worthy or cute or attractive. "It is based on the free and sovereign grace of God planned before the world and bought for us by the blood of Christ." We love because we have been loved. Following God's example, our adopted son is loved freely without meeting any conditions. We will not wait to love him until he obeys us; we will not wait to love him until he responds to us; we will not wait to love him until he loves us; we love him now - before he even knows us or even realizes that we exist.

"We are adopted by God that we will rejoice that God made much of us." Again, it comes back to God's glory. Every believer knows that without Christ our best is merely filthy rags. We do not accomplish things in our own strength but through His. Similarly, in adopting our son, our aim is not to "take a child's low views of self and replace them with high views of self. Rather our aim is to take a child's low views of God and replace them with high views of God."

Finally, adoption must occur with our eyes wide open. (This really relates to adding children to your family through whatever means because certainly problems with children are not unique to adoption.) We understand that there will be pain but there will also be joy. We know that "the grace of God is sufficient for every new day no matter how difficult. . . . His mercies are new every morning and there will be mercies for every weight and wonder on this new path in our lives."

Nothing Says Happy St. Patrick's Day Like Green Food!

Sibling Rivalry vs. Sibling Love

There's not much that makes my heart happier than seeing or hearing my girls happily getting along, playing nicely with each other, and just being best friends. While this doesn't happen 100% of the time, fortunately they do get along and enjoy each other the majority of the time . . . for now at least. I don't know if this is due to their personalities or their closeness in age or maybe some of my "God gave you to each other" speeches have sunk in (or maybe some of all of it), I just want to do everything on my part to make sure that it lasts!

Have you ever noticed how many people are so eager to share the negatives of parenting with you? It starts from the moment (well, not the moment) ;) you are pregnant with all the "get your sleep now because you'll never get any after the baby comes" comments. All along I've gotten comments from people about how even though children are sometimes so close to each other in the beginning it changes as they get older. I know that there is some truth to this. I've definitely had (sometimes still have) enough sibling rivalry in my own family to know, but I also think that although there will naturally be "fussy times" of disagreements I don't think that it is outside the realm of reality for me to believe that Emma Lee and Kerri can remain best friends as they get older - and for the rest of their lives. Today I volunteered in Emma Lee's preschool class and took Kerri along with me. Emma Lee was so proud of her sister, and it was so sweet. She wanted to include Kerri in everything that she was doing with her friends. She wasn't bothered or put out that her younger sister was there soaking up some extra attention in her class. How do I make this last, especially as they get older and spend more time apart during the day?

So, instead of the negative comments I usually hear, what are some thoughts, advice, suggestions, etc you have for encouraging a loving sibling relationship? What have you learned from in your own life? What are you doing, do you plan on doing, or did you do to help your kids be best friends and stay that way?

It Must Be Spring

My favorite flowers are daffodils. They are so bright and cheery, and I'm always happy to see them because it means winter is over (or almost). Well, it's that time of year again, and I don't think that I've ever been so happy to see them! Coincidentally (or maybe not), my favorite poem is by William Wordsworth entitled "Daffodils." With a little help from picnik, I'm celebrating spring today, even if the calendar does say it's not until March 20th, - you can't argue with the daffodils!

Here's the whole poem, since you probably aren't interested enough to look up the rest of it. ;)

I wander'd lonely as a cloud

That floats on high o'er vales and hills,

When all at once I saw a crowd,

A host, of golden daffodils;

Beside the lake, beneath the trees,
Fluttering and dancing in the breeze.

Continuous as the stars that shine

And twinkle on the Milky Way,

They stretch'd in never-ending line

Along the margin of a bay:

Ten thousand saw I at a glance,
Tossing their heads in sprightly dance.

The waves beside them danced; but they

Out-did the sparkling waves in glee:

A poet could not but be gay,

In such a jocund company:

I gazed -- and gazed -- but little thought
What wealth the show to me had brought:

For oft, when on my couch I lie

In vacant or in pensive mood,

They flash upon that inward eye

Which is the bliss of solitude;

And then my heart with pleasure fills,
And dances with the daffodils.

By William Wordsworth (1770-1850).

Look Who's Excited About Reading!

Emma Lee has been able to read for quite some time, but like all beginning readers, it is slowing going at first and takes time and practice. Despite my gentle persuasions to spend more time reading, she wasn't "in the mood" as often as I would like for her to be. I know that there's no rush since she's not even in kindergarten yet, but I really just want to instill a love for reading (on her own) in her as soon as possible. (See why I was an English teacher?) I was struggling with encouraging her to read for fun without forcing it into something she didn't enjoy and look forward to, so together we made a reading chart.

If it is the first time she has read the book, she gets to put two stickers on her chart. After that, she gets to put one more sticker on for each time she reads it again. While she was really excited about getting stickers for her chart, I also decided to add in prizes in hopes that with the extra motivation her initial excitement would continue to last (there are a lot of little squares on that chart!). I bought some dollar store prizes and put them in a special bag. When she fills up a whole row with stickers (14) she gets to choose a prize (without looking!).

Here are pictures of her getting her first prize.

High five for a great job! 

(In order to keep Kerri happy with all of this, she gets to help "be in charge" of it. She went shopping for the prizes with me and gets to keep them all a secret from Emma Lee. She also got to give Emma Lee her prize and make sure she didn't peek!) 

She has done an amazing job and is really "into" reading now. She has been carrying a book around with her everywhere and has even read our bedtime Bible story a couple of times for us!

Enjoy my little bookworm in this video!

(Can you tell I'm just a little excited that she is excited?!)

Make an on-line slideshow at www.OneTrueMedia.com

Favorite Find

Look at this cute cup I bought today. Okay, cup with a pop up straw - nothing special, right?

Well, you  know if you give a little girl a drink she is going to ask for a snack to go along with it.

Ta-da!

This is one of those "why didn't I think of that" genius inventions.
Where did I find it, you ask? The dollar store, you know, for a dollar!

The things I get excited about as a mommy!

Just a Reminder

One week from today is our adoption fundraiser party! I know that many of you will not be able to make it due to distance or other circumstances. However, if you would still like to place an order feel free to browse the websites listed below. You may order online, or you can just email me (angelforandy@msn.com) and let me know what you want.

For the rest of you, we are looking forward to seeing you on the 13th from 10:00-1:00 at 9 Goldenrod Place, Durham, NC 27705! Check out all the other details here

Each of these ladies have agreed to donate a portion of the sales to our adoptions (Johnsons and Hambricks)

Lindsey Bullard with Thirty-One
http://www.mythirtyone.com/bullard

Shawna Johnson with Mary Kay
http://www.marykay.com/stjohnson

Ada Farmer with Tastefully Simple
http://www.tastefullysimple.com/web/afarmer

Rachel Robbins with Pampered Chef
http://www.pamperedchef.biz/rachelrobbins

Magic Babysitter

A while back Andy and I wanted (needed - take your pick!) a date night. For different reasons, it just wasn't going to work out for us to go out somewhere, so we decided to stay in. Sounds good, right? The challenge was getting Emma Lee and Kerri to cooperate. I rented a movie and planned a special dinner for us grownups - okay, easy part done.

Next, I talked up to the girls how they were going to get to have their own special night in their room. I got them their own special dinner that they could eat upstairs (lunchables - they think they are the greatest thing in the world because they never-well, obviously not never, but extremely rarely-get them). Armed with some movies of their own and our portable DVD player, I headed up to their room to get things set up. A moment of inspiration hit me and for the first time all day, I thought that this might just work. In the top of the girls' closet, they have a long-forgotten play tent that I realized would make this night extra special for them (which might just actually keep them in their room). I set it up, and somehow they managed to find room for themselves in there after they piled it full of pillows, blankets, dolls, and stuffed animals, along with their dinner and dvd player. With promises that they could watch BOTH movies AND sleep in the tent if they stayed in their room and were quiet, I set them up, (I might have also sent up a little prayer) and tiptoed down the stairs.

I didn't have to worry, they were completely enchanted by the idea and other than a couple trips to the potty, we didn't hear a peep from them - ALL NIGHT! They even managed to fall asleep (and stay that way all night) cuddled up together in their little tent. I couldn't (and still can't completely) believe it! I feel like I have a secret weapon although it must be saved as the last resort and used oh so sparingly in order for it's magic to continue to work!

I Don't Like This Part

Right now, I have so much to do but am almost at a standstill of what I can do until several things fall into place. I hate waiting for others when I have a long list of stuff to do. I don't know if it is because I'm not the most super-organized person, if our agency wasn't clear enough on their expectations, or just because I've been so busy doing a million different things, of which our adoption is only one of, but today I'm pretty frustrated with how slowly our adoption seems to be moving. So, we finished our homestudy visits, got in all our paperwork, and I thought that it would be approved and finalized pretty quickly. After not hearing anything from them at all, I finally called today and found out they are still waiting for 5 things for it to be complete - two of which we didn't even know about. Great. Also, we have to wait in line before she even reviews our homestudy. (True, it is not a long line, I think we are third, but I want it NOW.) Unfortunately for our situation right now, our homestudy is pretty much the thing that everything else hinges at this point. We can't file our I800-A (to immigration) until our homestudy is completed. We can't send in our dossier (paperwork to Bulgaria) until these and other things fall into place.We can't apply for any adoption grants (some of which have deadlines) until our homestudy is completed. Ugh! I keep telling myself that once my work on this end is finished, I'll be perfectly happy and patient to wait for Bulgaria to work things out on their end, but deep down if I'm completely honest I know that it doesn't work like that. How often do we think, "I'll just be happy when..." or "If only I had____, then everything would be fine." I was reminded today of what Paul said in Philippians:

. . . for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want [whether having a homestudy completed or not]. I can do everything through him who gives me strength.

Waiting. Patience. Contentment. Okay, so these are definitely some areas that need improvement in my life. In my head, I know that my mood shouldn't be affected by my circumstances or situations, and I need to trust in the Lord and that everything will work out according to His timing. My lesson for today is to take that head knowledge and put it into practice.